


Fix me

by mybffbatman



Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Drabble, M/M, Stony - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-30
Updated: 2015-01-30
Packaged: 2018-03-09 17:25:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,659
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3258218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mybffbatman/pseuds/mybffbatman
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was home, as much as home could ever be to him now, but it felt foreign, he was a stranger in this place. He could sense Tony watching him, carefully moving like someone would move around a frightened child. </p><p>"Do you know, " He spoke breaking the silence, allowing himself to pretend he was comfortable, marching past Tony towards the bar, the one that could always be counted upon to be fully stocked. "They say the best way to ring in the new year is with a toast?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fix me

**Author's Note:**

> No beta.   
> Wrote it around Christmas, it's a little bit late, but hey. Oh well.

“There is a visitor at the landing pad, Sir”

“Who is it?”

“All scans read Captain Rogers.”

 

The wind blew icy, whipping the small white flakes around in absolutely no pattern. As they fell down they swooped up and around. Calming only for a second between gusts. For some people, December was the most beautiful time to be in New York, for others it was the coldest the city ever got. While store fronts were filled with festive lights and decorations the ground was covered in brown slush, people marching about their days in sickening routine. The sun set early, behind the concrete towers and the night sky spent weeks in a hazy gray with fluttering whites.

A chill shot through Tony, the suit not doing much for insulation, winter was not his favorite time, and the holidays that came within the season were even more disliked. Twisting himself around skyscrapers, the suit howled with the wind. Around, he moved, faster until he saw it. The blue figure standing out bright against the low lights of the tower, the speckles of red drawing him in even more. The man sat calm, over the edge, his feet dangling above the empty space below. Shoulders hunched dangerously and no fear across his face. He sat on top of the world, or as close as he could get.

There was something about the wind against his bare skin, hitting him over and over, causing the pale flesh to turn pink, stinging and then warming for the brief pauses in natures beating. How long exactly he had been on the edge, he was not sure. Literally, he had been on this edge for a few minutes, possibly more if he had lost track, figuratively he had been at the edge for months. Always one step away from the end.

Inhaling, Steve could feel the frozen snowflakes tickle his nose, the snow always brought a calm, a clean feeling above the dirty streets. Falling and blanketing everything it could with the purest white. The street traffic fell to a minimum with only the odd sirens filling the air after night fall. If it wasn't for the chill that met his bones, winter would have been his favorite time, but it never could be again. Not without the nightmares and the guilt.

Steve opened his eyes as the new sound joined him, he knew that sound well, appreciated it almost. He was here. He did not move from his spot, he knew how this would go, the sound of Iron man landing enough to confirm it.

“You do know its cold out here, right Cap?”

The voice caused Steve’s lips to twitch at the corners, but he did not shift.

There were mechanical sounds, the suit retracting with each step Tony made, falling back to where exactly Tony wanted it to go, precise and clean.

“Steve?”

This time, he did shift, glancing up and over his shoulder at the man, now with his hands wrapped around himself, trying to hold in any warmth he could, but that face, no longer hidden by metal, was soft. Their eyes met and the wind picked up, slapping against their bare skin again. The silence drawing longer with each breath.

“I came home.” Steve’s lips were numb now, maybe he had lost track of time out here.

“Come inside, Steve.” Tony ran his hands up and down his bare arms, feet inching backwards, eyes pleading.

Steve looked back down, down at the city streets he could barely make out in the snow fall. “You know I've lost everyone I've ever loved.”

It was a statement, and a bold one, causing Tony to almost trip on his own feet, startled. Hesitating in what to do, the wind howled as it curved around the buildings.

“You still have me.” He finally said, words barely carried over the empty space between them.

“Not forever.”

Placing his palms down beside himself, Steve contemplated what forever meant, forever was a long time, he had nearly 100 years on his side, but forever was longer. He would be alone for most of forever.

“Please.” Tony’s voice was closer know, and Steve knew what that meant.

“I’m not going to jump, Tony.” The words were more calloused and cold then he had meant, but it was too late to take them back.

“Come inside.” This time Tony demanded instead of pleaded.

Carefully, and slowly, Steve removed himself from the edge, feet falling back on to solid ground. Pins and needles shooting up his legs as he did. Tony’s face was set in stone, as he watched every step Steve took. Closer to the door, further from the edge. Literally anyways.

The warmth of the tower hit him like a ton of bricks, sending a flare up his arms and through his body, welcoming every inch.

"Welcome home, Sir." The voice filled the empty common space, familiar to Steve "And Welcome home Captain Rogers."

It was home, as much as home could ever be to him now, but it felt foreign, he was a stranger in this place. He could sense Tony watching him, carefully moving like someone would move around a frightened child. 

"Do you know, " He spoke breaking the silence, allowing himself to pretend he was comfortable, marching past Tony towards the bar, the one that could always be counted upon to be fully stocked. "They say the best way to ring in the new year is with a toast?"

Tony eyed the man, slowly placing himself down onto the couch "Well I'm afraid you've missed midnight by two and a half hours." he glanced at the clock above the door to make sure he wasn't mistaken, he wasn't. "What would you have toasted to?"

Pulling a bottle of some amber liquid off one of the shelves, sure to taste more like poison than the sweet honey it looked like, he shrugged. "What do normal people toast to?" 

"I don't think you're asking the right person." He linked his fingers, his movements stuttering as he felt the cold metal wrapped around his finger, praying that the other saw no hesitation. "But I imagine they toast to life, love, happiness. That sort of thing." 

Between his fingers, Tony spun the metal around, feeling the scuffs that covered it. That would teach him to never take it off, to ruin something as beautiful as simple as the ring. He had dirtied it, he had become attached to it, he had loved it so much he destroyed it. Like everything else.

He knew Steve was watching him now, he knew Steve knew exactly what he was doing. But he didn't say anything, instead the large ghost grabbed two cups and filled them two fingers high.

"Would you have toasted to life?" Steve spoke his voice closer with every word, offering one of the glasses to Tony.

"No." Tony took the glass but set it on the coffee table in front of him. "No I probably would have toasted innovation or something mindless instead."

The drink went down Steve's throat, burning every inch of his insides as it did, but he didn't flinch, instead he grabbed the other glass and downed it as well. He couldn't be drunk, he had tried, but perhaps that was part of his punishment, it was what he deserved. The pain of the process but none of the payoff.

He took in the silence, the clicking of the clock and the patter of wind against the glass windows being the only noise in the space, he produced the bottle of amber liquid and filled one of the glasses, two fingers, then three, and then four for good measure, he offered to fill the other but Tony's face begged him not to.

"A Toast." He kept his blue eyes burning into the glass on the table "To forever." Steve didn't bother with the cup, taking his drink from the bottle instead.

"Steve." Tony tried.

But it was too late. The tears were warm on his cold face, he should have stopped them, he should have left, but in that moment Steve could do nothing but cry. He wept into his hands, his entire body trembling with each sob, eyes burning nose running. He could feel his hands shake and he didn't know how to stop it.

"I'm sorry-" he could hear Tony's voice but it sounded so far away. 

"I have no excuses." He finally spoke, eyes wound closed, afraid to see the world around him. "I ran away from what I had to try and get something I thought I wanted." pressing the heels of his hands into his eyes he steadied his breathing, though the tears kept flowing. "I am not the man I once was. I am broken, and I am lost."

"No." Tony's voice was nearer now, and there was a warm touch on his back. 

"I am Tony, I am." Steve cried out his name and it caused Tony's heart to twist inside his chest. 

Tony could feel the pain radiate through his spine and his stomach turn, uneasy, guilty and sad. He could feel the sadness take over his face and the words replay over and over again in his head. "You're not lost." He whispered, words getting lost in soft blonde hair, his arms pulling the other into himself as best he could. 

"You're home now and I am here, I will always be here, and I will fix you."

"You can't fix everything."

"No." He agreed "But I can try, so long as you let me."

Steve wiped the hot tears from his cheeks, blinking back any more that threatened to fall. "Then try." He croaked. "I will stay and we can try." His fingers hitched over his collar, pulling the hidden chain off his skin. He grasped the small circle at the end between his fingers, not daring to look at the other man. "Fix me."


End file.
